Clean Marriage Jokes

This is the page where you'll find daily clean jokes about marriage. Find jokes about husbands and wives, weddings, and all the other funny stuff that happens in marriage. You'll find a new clean marriage joke every day.

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Today's Joke About marriage

Sunday, September 26, 2021


  • Take off clothes while sitting on edge of bed and leave them in a pile.
  • Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, whistle and make the "woo" sound.
  • Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have any pecs (no), scratch your privates.
  • Get in the shower.
  • Don’t bother to look for washcloth (you don’t use one).
  • Wash your face.
  • Wash your armpits.
  • Shampoo (do not use conditioner).
  • Make a shampoo mohawk.
  • Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
  • Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on floor because you left the curtain hanging out of tub the whole time.
  • Partially dry off.
  • Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles.
  • Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
  • Leave bathroom fan and light on.
  • Return to bedroom with towel wrapped around your waist.
  • Throw wet towel on bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

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